fire and stillness

Fired up right now, with lots of creative ideas zipping around in my head and seemingly little time in which to express them. Something is telling me I have more to do, and that the office I work in right now is not the place in which I am meant to do it. I know I like this place and the people in it, but I have got more to give. Maybe it's possible to satisfy myself outside of work, through my dancing and composing: all I know is that I am growing and changing. Life is in transition right now, but I have been fighting it. I need to ride that wave.

I think the first thing to do is eliminate excess noise and distraction. I need to hear my own music. Thing is, though, that music and words come at the oddest times. The other day, I was talking with Natasha about the theme for our upcoming dance performance, and boom! All of a sudden, after a week of coming up with bubkus, something she said, just a little turn of a phrase, set me writing again. I guess the main thing is not to be so constantly filing my head with noise (i.e. television, the news, too much listening to my iTunes library). I just need to give myself more time to listen and to think. This seems to be when really cool things happen. This so-called age of information is the potential death of creativity because we don't have enough time to stop and look around us, unless we make the time to do so.

Deep. So now, a reminder to myself...

Sunset over the pond at Phoenix Ranch, near Romulus, NY.

Be still and listen.

Body movin'

Just a few pics to inspire movement and action. Enjoy!

A. (Photos by A.Loken unless otherwise stated)


Natasha Royka in rehearsal prior to the Dance Space open house in May.



















Neil Petkus (green belt) testing for next belt level in May (successfully).

dancing with fireflies

Well, what a night! Clouds of mosquitoes aside, we made some magic happen in that garden on Thursday night. After a day full of rain, thunderstorms and severe weather warnings, the bravest of us defied the warnings and drove out to Almonte. The skies became crystal clear at about seven-thirty in the evening, and we had a gorgeous sunset at about nine o'clock. The dance was a meditation in motion, with several moments of everyone dancing in perfect unison. As we exited the herb garden, the fireflies puncuated our movement in graceful arcs in the darkness around us, and the stars peeked out in the sky. Magic, magic, magic.

So many strong, intelligent, beautiful women in the world! It was not so much fun to be out there being bitten by mosquitoes, but I can say that I danced with fireflies and sang with the stars, and I did so with some remarkable women of varied ages and backgrounds. One thing, however, did not vary - each one was beautiful. I can hardly wait until July and August! My songs and sounds are going to fill the air! July will be the Dance in the Garden workshop, and hopefully August will bring the Lumiere Festival, where we'll repeat the piece "Queen Mab's Footsteps", and I will get to sing my first vocal melody again. There is something about that tune that tells me it will influence future compositions. Got to write more tunes like that!

dancing in the dark

Well, it has been a while indeed! Been posting on MySpace and forgot to bounce back here to post something. Getting tired of the Friend Requests and all that nonsense over there, so I think it's gonna be this blog from now on.

Summer Solstice is fast approaching, and though I haven't ever really paid too much attention to such things, I think this year will be different: I will be debuting a new composition to accompany a dance choreographed by my friend Natasha Royka. Should be fun, dancing in a garden in the dark, singing and trying to keep mosquitoes from flying into my mouth...

Anyway, I will post my reflections on this event anf the days leading up to it: it should be loads of fun!

The photos are some shots I took at the Dance/Space 637 Open House that took place on May 11th. We all had a great time, and boy can these gals all dance!

when little things mean more

What a beautiful, awful day it is today. I will be eating my lunch in the kitchen with the other secretaries, and I'm sure we'll have some good laughs like we always do when we dine together. But part of me will be thinking of those who died in two office towers five years ago, and who don't get to enjoy eating lunch with a bunch of lievly, funny, charming gals like I do.

brothers & brides in June

Well what an eventful couple of weeks it has been! My brother Greg checked into the Civic hospital with a nasty flare-up of Crohn's, and they kept him until yesterday afternoon, and put four units of blood, steroids and an immunosuppressant into his system. What a guy Greg is - when I went to visit, he still had his sense of humour, in spite of being doped up and on an IV and being stuck with roommates who kept him up half the night. I can't even begin to imagine what he's been through. Anyway, we had a good chat, and he put me onto some interesting online reading (mostly in the form of comics, which I have to say I have a weakness for, especially if they are particularly well-drawn and have some sort of witty humour and insight). And when I dropped by with Mom and Dad on Saturday, not only was Greg up on all the latest news (including, of course, football scores for the World Cup), but he also hands me Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom, a book I have been meaning to read for a while. Thoughtful guy. Greg's ability to find out exactly what is going on is pretty neat: yes, there were newspapers available, and yes, there was a tv down the hall, but if I were in his place, I would be inclined to lose touch with what is going on in the world. As a matter of fact, I sometimes do that, even in the middle of a home with all the mod cons for info and communication. But not Greg. I am guessing that the Crohn's has forced him to keep in touch in any way he can, but I get the feeling that very little will keep him from staying in touch. Anyway, he is finally home, and what a difference I heard in his voice when we chatted tonight on the phone. I have something to learn about keeping in touch with others and with my sense of humour from Greg.

On to other things - last weekend was the nicest weekend with my BFF Christine and her folks for her brother Kevin's wedding to Lucy. What a party! The whole day went smoothly, except that it had to be about 34 or 35 degrees Celsius (over 90 Fahrenheit) in the shade, so I pitied all the fellas in their suits, that's for sure. But I had a blast hanging out with Christine and her folks, and I even got to drive her brother Mark's truck. Niiiiiiice vehicle. Even though I am a little on the granola side when it comes to choosing a set of wheels, this truck was too incredible not to appreciate, even if its gas mileage is abysmal. Right down to the Magellan system to help a driver find a destination, this thing had everything but the kitchen sink. Unfortunately, the drive I took was only about five blocks. I would have loved to put that truck through its paces. Ah well. I guess I'll just wax nostalgic for the enornmous Pontiac station wagon I learned to drive in. For anyone who has never been behind the wheel of a powerful vehicle, the feeling cannot be compared to anything else. The pickup of the engine, the way it pins you into your seat, the way the wheels skim that road...well, it's definitely exciting...



Anyway, after the hubbub of the wedding was over, we all toddled over (along with cutie-pie ringbearer, 21-month-old James, seen here with Christine on the right) to a park for some pictures, and then off to a fabulous reception (Oh the food! Oh the dancing! And did I mention the food? 'Cause there was a boatload of it, and it was good!). We drank too much (at least I did), closed the party, and stayed up way too late. It was awesome. The next day, Christine and I popped into the Toyota (see what I mean by granola?) and drove to nearby London (with a nice little episode of getting lost in between Sarnia and London) to whisk sweet stepdaughter of mine Gabrielle off for some pool and hot-tub time at Mark's place, where she met Christine's two awesome nieces, Kirsten and McKenzie. It was all too brief, but it was some great time with Gabi and Christine (and of course, the hot-tub, which I wish we had here at home ). So it was hard to leave Christine, who was headed back to hubby Neil in Massachusetts, and it was hard to drop off Gabi at school in London, and go home. Granted, I enjoyed the drive, but the trip home was harder than the trip there. Sigh. I wish that I could afford to fly everyone I want to hang out with to anywhere I choose to go, so that we can just chill out for a month or two. No dice on that, though, since I don't even play the lottery. Guess I will just have to work on whatever thing it is that will make me rich...heh...

So what else? Well, my sweet hubby spent the weekend with his best friend, Dan, and then came home last night. I love it when Dillon comes home from a trip...'nuff said...but seriously, I hate spending too much time alone. And of course, it gets to me that my best friend is so far away - I really need to make more friends closer to home. This is where those lessons learned from Greg could come in very handy in helping me stay in closer touch with family and friends, and even in making new friends.

Okay, since I can't go on typing all night if I want to go to work tomorrow (heh - do I really want to go to work??), I will sign off for tonight. TTFN.

A.