Space and time

A rare moment of peace and quiet after a long day. I can't believe that I haven't posted anything about my pregnancy or baby's birth - okay, maybe I can believe it. It's something I feel so deeply about that I haven't got a whole lot of words for it yet. That kind of joy can't really be expressed to anyone else who hasn't gone through it themselves.

Anyway, it's now eight months since Donovan arrived in our lives, and I find myself wanting to take more mental space of my own. It astonishes me how much of my mind has been dedicated to baby and all the things that go with baby. And it makes me think that I need to take my space so that I have more to give him when we're together. So dance class tomorrow will be a good start.

Later, folks. Time to snatch a few winks and hopefully dream of dancing.

more to come

Oh my has it ever been a long time! Too many things to post in this one post - a year's worth of stuff almost! I guess life has been full and fun enough to keep me from writing.

But as I write, it is the day of Michael Jackson's memorial service, and the dancer, singer and composer in me are saddened by his passing. I think back to the many smiles he gave me with his music and his dancing, and I wish him and his family peace. There is a sense that the world is somehow diminished by his absence.

There'll be much more to write about happier things in my next post. Somehow this seems a night to reflect - morning will bring better, brighter words to mind. Until then, time to sleep and to dream of great things are to come (maybe Michael's music will be tonight's soundtrack).

A.

so much to do, so little time!

Just ruminating a little on some of the last few weeks' events. My folks just moved to new digs, my boss is back from sick leave, and I have been composing and performing like crazy. Still have Herbfest this weekend, and am looking forward to some frothy, fun dance and music. Anyway, I have lots to post about Giselle Under the Full Moon, but that will likely have to wait until after Herbfest.

Later!

Feeling dumpy today, what with being bundled up for the foot of snow that has accumulated outside. My wardrobe needs a major overhaul, but the post-Christmas bills are in, and we have to watch pennies for the next little while. That is what we get for going to New York City and partying too hard. And just think: I didn't even go shopping, so the bills could have been a whole lot worse. Yes, I also wonder what kind of strange malady I caught that made me go to NYC and buy not one stitch of clothing while we were there, but there you have it. That is how it happened. It didn't seem important at the time, given that I was zipping around town with my most wonderful hubby, experiencing NYC night life, visiting museums, visiting Central Park and visiting with my hubby's awesome cousin Parvez, whom I hadn't seen for ages. An unforgettable trip, that is certain, and I am rather taken with this unique city and its people.

A few pix...



Grin.


Ooooo...sparkly....


What an amazing skyline...

Making magic (part 2)

Well we danced, and in spite of rivers of sweat and sore joints, it was magical. What a delight to watch the faces of children and adults alike, all lit up with smiles and exclamations of "look - a fairy!" or "look - an angel!". There is something very moving about those joyful responses. The looks on people’s faces were so rewarding. This is real joy. This is what no amount of money or status can bring. This is stuff to spread around!!

It seems sometimes that much of the world, particularly the Western world, is stuck in this unending cycle of pain and needs a wake-up call. Something has to happen, people have to start taking action to spread positive energy. For example, we will perform the same material we performed on Parliament Hill for the people who work at and who make use of The Well at St. John the Evangelist on Elgin Street. There is no reason why people who are struggling to make life work should have any less beauty in their lives than those who walk the halls of power. And if the positive energy we are offering makes the difference in even one life, then it is wholly worthwhile.

The very first job I had in an office was for a brilliant professor who told me that scholarly knowledge is no greater than any other knowledge. In his view, knowing how to be is just as important as knowing about how something works or knowing how to do something. This conversation stuck in my mind, but until recently, I did not understand its full scope. Since then, I have come to believe that one cannot have a meaningful life without at least two things: we must know not only how things work, or how to be, but also how to act, and I am convinced that acting must be the constant in this equation. In other words, one must ask what do you know, but more importantly, what have you done with that knowledge? What do you feel, but more importantly, what have you done with those feelings? Knowledge and feeling without action are worthless.

But knowledge, feeling and action combined are powerful stuff indeed. One might even call them magic.

Making magic

Well here we go - it's performance night! It's magic time! I can hardly wait to get out there in the freezing weather (I must be flippin' crazy). Honestly, there is something important about being able to transform oneself into someone different, even if only for a few hours at a time. There is real possibility for exploration, both within and without. On top of that, I get to act in ways that I would likely never act at work or in public.

The most amazing thing is how much this feeds my soul. Okay - gotta go - gotta dance!!!!!!

seeing with new eyes, moving with new feet

Just sitting back and thinking of the upcoming performance on Parliament Hill, and I am getting excited. The magic of authentic movement is powerful. Dancing with these amazing women has already transformed me already, and I suspect that we will all be transformed in unique ways by this creative experience. Even in the first few rehearsals, we were moving around the studio with ease, no one bumping or even brushing anyone else. We immediately had a sense of each other's space and energy, which seems rare and special, to my mind. This group of women is powerful in ways we haven't even begun to tap yet.

Another interesting thing about working with Natasha is that she has pulled us together as a group (she really is our anchor!), but has also encouraged us to be authentic and individual in our movement. I have never worked in another environment where the teamwork has been so organic. The work itself is a challenge, but everyone seems to be focused on that instead of on competing with and comparing ourselves to one another.

Speaking of challenges, the biggest one for me in this piece has been to compose the short sung blessing that we are set to do inside the Centre Block. Natasha challenged me to write something that no speech-writer or politico on the Hill would ever write. We talked about how we have to let go of old ideas, and in this case, I realized that I have so much history in this city. It's a lot to let go of, and yet, it is so important to let go of it, because my perspective cannot otherwise be changed.

It's as though I am returning to this place as a woman transformed. No, I really am returning to this place as a woman transformed. Being on the Hill as a tiny cog in the massive machinery of government is part of who I was, but all that is in the past, because in order to grow and to present this piece authentically, I have to look at both myself and the world with new eyes, to step onto that hill with new feet. To access that authentic voice inside, it is so important to be willing to leave the past in the past, and to challenge oneself to do new things. I may be scared to sing the things I write - but it won't stop me. I have known for a long time that I have something to say, and thanks in large part to working with strong, creative women, I have found a way to say it.

I have a voice. And I finally know how to use it.